It isn't bad enough I have to get up at 2 a.m. to go to work on the weekends.
This morning, I awoke to a soaking wet, slightly warm back. As in someone didn't put on a Pullup and then got into bed with Mommy. And then the baby was screaming in her crib and after I finally calmed her down, it was too late to shower. Plus I had an hour drive ahead of me.
At least my coffee was tasty.
Saturday, November 29, 2008
Thursday, November 27, 2008
Thanks kidlets
Thank you, kidlets, for just being you. Thank you for playing cars under my feet as I tried to make stuffing. Thank you for screaming "mamamamamama" every time I left your line of sight.
Thank you for eating everything under the sun EXCEPT the turkey dinner. Thank you for fighting naptime and opting to stay awake and be unreasonable.
And thank you most of all for making me something I never in a million years thought I would be.
A happy mommy of 2.
Thank you for eating everything under the sun EXCEPT the turkey dinner. Thank you for fighting naptime and opting to stay awake and be unreasonable.
And thank you most of all for making me something I never in a million years thought I would be.
A happy mommy of 2.
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
The Elusiveness of Sleep
What I wouldn't give for a full complete night of uninterrupted sleep. The chance to lie in bed, with only my husband, and sleep until I woke up.
No drinks of water.
No lost binkies.
No pee in the bed, wet diapers, lost blankets, lost stuffed animals.
Just me. Asleep.
That ain't gonna happen, so I'll live with the sleep deprivation and the wiggly people cuddled up next to me while it lasts.
No drinks of water.
No lost binkies.
No pee in the bed, wet diapers, lost blankets, lost stuffed animals.
Just me. Asleep.
That ain't gonna happen, so I'll live with the sleep deprivation and the wiggly people cuddled up next to me while it lasts.
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Is Snot Fun?
Apparently so.
This morning as we were driving to daycare, I head a loud, wet sneeze emanate from the vicinity of the baby seat. Followed by "Holy moley Mommy! That's a LOT of snot in Phoebe's nose."
I was just about to say something when I was interrupted. "Wow! She's blowing a bubble with the snot! HOW COOL!"
I guess I should be happy that they can amuse each other...
This morning as we were driving to daycare, I head a loud, wet sneeze emanate from the vicinity of the baby seat. Followed by "Holy moley Mommy! That's a LOT of snot in Phoebe's nose."
I was just about to say something when I was interrupted. "Wow! She's blowing a bubble with the snot! HOW COOL!"
I guess I should be happy that they can amuse each other...
Monday, November 24, 2008
That time of year
I used to just LOVE the holiday season. The anticipation, the smells of good food in my mother's kitchen, even the cold weather-- I loved it all.
But that changed somehow, somewhere. Maybe when I started working for a living and suddenly I didn't have time to enjoy the anticipation? Maybe when I realized kitchens don't just automatically produce good smells--there has to be a competent cook present? Maybe when I had to work on Thanksgiving and Christmas and it just wasn't the same?
I think I lost the spirit along the way.
But this year.... this year. I don't know how it happened, but I'm feeling excited again. Is it the 4-year-old who is begging me for snow? Who gets wide-eyed when I talk about Santa? And the pretty red and white snowflake dress I just bought for a certain small girl? Listening to the never ending Christmas wish list?
Thanks kidlets, thanks for giving me back the wonder and magic of this time of year.
But that changed somehow, somewhere. Maybe when I started working for a living and suddenly I didn't have time to enjoy the anticipation? Maybe when I realized kitchens don't just automatically produce good smells--there has to be a competent cook present? Maybe when I had to work on Thanksgiving and Christmas and it just wasn't the same?
I think I lost the spirit along the way.
But this year.... this year. I don't know how it happened, but I'm feeling excited again. Is it the 4-year-old who is begging me for snow? Who gets wide-eyed when I talk about Santa? And the pretty red and white snowflake dress I just bought for a certain small girl? Listening to the never ending Christmas wish list?
Thanks kidlets, thanks for giving me back the wonder and magic of this time of year.
Stages and Changes
Saturday, October 25, 2008
My darling daughter is 6 months old. And like a signal that rang through my body, the milk has stopped. I was tired of pumping, true, but somehow the end of nursing is bittersweet, My body, which provided her with life and sustenance for 9 months of gestation and 6 months of life, is moving on.
I'll still provide the love, the comfort and the caring she needs to grow into a beautiful human being. But I won't provide the food. The substance that made her grow and develop, that gave her such a pretty smile and a cheerful personality.
She doesn't know it yet, though. She still thinks I can provide this service. And I will still hold her to me as the last of the milk slowly stops flowing. She'll try to eat, but will learn that her bottle is now that source of food.
I say good bye to the pump that served me so well, through 2 children and a year (combined) of providing my children with the best food possible. I won't miss it, but I will miss what it gave me. That physical connection to my babies, that knowledge that even though I was not with them, they still had part of me inside them.
Now, there are new challenges ahead. My beautiful baby can sit by herself now! She doesn't need the stuff of my being to feed her. The milk may be gone, but the piece of my soul that she possesses is with her always.
My darling daughter is 6 months old. And like a signal that rang through my body, the milk has stopped. I was tired of pumping, true, but somehow the end of nursing is bittersweet, My body, which provided her with life and sustenance for 9 months of gestation and 6 months of life, is moving on.
I'll still provide the love, the comfort and the caring she needs to grow into a beautiful human being. But I won't provide the food. The substance that made her grow and develop, that gave her such a pretty smile and a cheerful personality.
She doesn't know it yet, though. She still thinks I can provide this service. And I will still hold her to me as the last of the milk slowly stops flowing. She'll try to eat, but will learn that her bottle is now that source of food.
I say good bye to the pump that served me so well, through 2 children and a year (combined) of providing my children with the best food possible. I won't miss it, but I will miss what it gave me. That physical connection to my babies, that knowledge that even though I was not with them, they still had part of me inside them.
Now, there are new challenges ahead. My beautiful baby can sit by herself now! She doesn't need the stuff of my being to feed her. The milk may be gone, but the piece of my soul that she possesses is with her always.
Happy Birthday Jake!
Wednesday, October 01, 2008
My firstborn, my son, the light of my life is 4 years old. The small bundle I first saw in the morning hours of October 1, 2004. The little boy who came out crying but paused for just a second when I held him to my chest. Our miracle, born 5 weeks early but rarin' to go!
This morning Steve and I sang happy birthday to him when he was 4 years (and 10 minutes) old. He opened one eye and said "I'm sleepy".... smiled at us...then said "Mommy, hold me!" I picked up my 40 pound, 43 inch long baby and marveled at him. His wit, his intelligence, his maturity...but still, just a small bit of the baby he once was.
He was done with my arms all too soon. Ready to jump headfirst into his fourth year. Anxious to open his first present, a Bumblebee Transformer. Anxious to make it work. Anxious to move, move, move!
I want him to grow, to be strong and independent. To form his own opinions, make his own decisions. Eventually fly away from me and the shelter of my arms.
I want that.
Don't I?
My firstborn, my son, the light of my life is 4 years old. The small bundle I first saw in the morning hours of October 1, 2004. The little boy who came out crying but paused for just a second when I held him to my chest. Our miracle, born 5 weeks early but rarin' to go!
This morning Steve and I sang happy birthday to him when he was 4 years (and 10 minutes) old. He opened one eye and said "I'm sleepy".... smiled at us...then said "Mommy, hold me!" I picked up my 40 pound, 43 inch long baby and marveled at him. His wit, his intelligence, his maturity...but still, just a small bit of the baby he once was.
He was done with my arms all too soon. Ready to jump headfirst into his fourth year. Anxious to open his first present, a Bumblebee Transformer. Anxious to make it work. Anxious to move, move, move!
I want him to grow, to be strong and independent. To form his own opinions, make his own decisions. Eventually fly away from me and the shelter of my arms.
I want that.
Don't I?
Random Jake-isms
Sunday, September 14, 2008
Jake has so many cute things he says and does, I figured I'd better write them all down. Or at least as many as I can remember...
The one I absolutely have to remember is when he says "I'll always love my baby sister, no matter what." It's so darn sweet when he says it! And he kisses Phoebe... I hope this feeling continues.
The other morning Jake was dawdling and I was trying to get out the door. I had made him pancakes and he was taking his time, savoring each bite. As I was sitting there tapping my foot he looked at me and said "Sweetie, these are GREAT pancakes. Thank you my love!" So how could I be annoyed after that?
Then there's one of his favorite songs, "You're a Trash Girl". Better known as Eurotrash Girl by Cracker. He's also fond of Gone Daddy Gone by Gnarls Barkley, Rock Lobster by the B-52s and Drive My Car by The Beatles. Fortunately for us, he has good musical taste! He loves to sing too, and hearing him bellowing Rock Lobster-DOWN! from the backseat is an experience no one should miss.
I remain amazed daily at how his curiosity and intelligence manifest in conversation. He CAN reason now although sometimes I think he just doesn't want to. I encourage him to figure things out for himself and to work independantly. But he still amazes me with his comprehension and how he gets so much.
And not to ignore Phoebe too--she has started eating carrots! And last night she had a small taste of mango water ice. She loves food! She's also so bright and adorable.
I did not realize I had the capacity to love two people like I love my children. They both make me so happy and proud!
Jake has so many cute things he says and does, I figured I'd better write them all down. Or at least as many as I can remember...
The one I absolutely have to remember is when he says "I'll always love my baby sister, no matter what." It's so darn sweet when he says it! And he kisses Phoebe... I hope this feeling continues.
The other morning Jake was dawdling and I was trying to get out the door. I had made him pancakes and he was taking his time, savoring each bite. As I was sitting there tapping my foot he looked at me and said "Sweetie, these are GREAT pancakes. Thank you my love!" So how could I be annoyed after that?
Then there's one of his favorite songs, "You're a Trash Girl". Better known as Eurotrash Girl by Cracker. He's also fond of Gone Daddy Gone by Gnarls Barkley, Rock Lobster by the B-52s and Drive My Car by The Beatles. Fortunately for us, he has good musical taste! He loves to sing too, and hearing him bellowing Rock Lobster-DOWN! from the backseat is an experience no one should miss.
I remain amazed daily at how his curiosity and intelligence manifest in conversation. He CAN reason now although sometimes I think he just doesn't want to. I encourage him to figure things out for himself and to work independantly. But he still amazes me with his comprehension and how he gets so much.
And not to ignore Phoebe too--she has started eating carrots! And last night she had a small taste of mango water ice. She loves food! She's also so bright and adorable.
I did not realize I had the capacity to love two people like I love my children. They both make me so happy and proud!
The End of Summer
Sunday, August 31, 2008
Huh? What? Where did it go? Summer, I mean. The lazy days where I was going to read books and watch my beautiful blond child run around in the sun. Where my baby would sleep peacefully beside me as I sat in a chair and drank iced tea. And read books.
Apparently, those days disappeared under mountains of laundry, a doctoral dissertation gnawing at my brain, and endless grocery shopping and cleaning. Oh, plus 2 children who didn't seem to want to play their appointed roles in my little summer plans. The beautiful blond child is tanned and blond from 3 months in the pool--but I watched him the whole time. And the peaceful baby? Well, she has opinions and needs, and they don't include Mommy reading.
But still... this was one of the best summers of my life. Watching Jake go from early June and barely putting his face in the water to late August and seeing him swim the whole way across the pool with his snorkeling gear on. Seeing Phoebe grow and develop a personality that is so like me and yet so uniquely her own. Seeing the two of them develop a bond, a sibling relationship that is growing stronger with each laugh, each hug, each kiss, each hair pull. Watching in wonderment at these two beings I actually conceived and birthed.
Yes, the best summer of my life. Except for the laundry.
Huh? What? Where did it go? Summer, I mean. The lazy days where I was going to read books and watch my beautiful blond child run around in the sun. Where my baby would sleep peacefully beside me as I sat in a chair and drank iced tea. And read books.
Apparently, those days disappeared under mountains of laundry, a doctoral dissertation gnawing at my brain, and endless grocery shopping and cleaning. Oh, plus 2 children who didn't seem to want to play their appointed roles in my little summer plans. The beautiful blond child is tanned and blond from 3 months in the pool--but I watched him the whole time. And the peaceful baby? Well, she has opinions and needs, and they don't include Mommy reading.
But still... this was one of the best summers of my life. Watching Jake go from early June and barely putting his face in the water to late August and seeing him swim the whole way across the pool with his snorkeling gear on. Seeing Phoebe grow and develop a personality that is so like me and yet so uniquely her own. Seeing the two of them develop a bond, a sibling relationship that is growing stronger with each laugh, each hug, each kiss, each hair pull. Watching in wonderment at these two beings I actually conceived and birthed.
Yes, the best summer of my life. Except for the laundry.
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