I cannot believe how excited I am for summer! The pool is open and the fun is beginning. I don't think I have been this excited since I was about 15... that was the last time that I truly looked forward to summer. The last time summer was ahead of me as an almost endless stretch of time, full of warmth and promise and freedom.
After that summer, I was thinking ahead to college and to "real life". Of course once I graduated, summer became just another season. Even when it was just Jake, somehow summer didn't have the thrill that it does now. Last year with a newborn, I was just glad to know if it was day or night. But that changed.
I think yesterday at the pool really brought it home. We visited a friend's pool for a few hours, then went to our community pool. Jake and Phoebe had such fun! And so did I--from the smell of the sunscreen, the hint of chlorine, the bright sunshine, the great splashes, the towels, the pool snacks... it all suddenly came together and helped me recapture the joy I used to have in summer.
The coolest thing is that summer never really went away. It was hanging out and waiting for me to rediscover it in the faces, voices and actions of my 2 water babies!
Sunday, May 24, 2009
Sunday, May 3, 2009
Time
I like to write. I started a blog because I enjoy putting my thoughts down in some more durable location than... my head. So why aren't I writing more?
Damn, but life gets in the way.
In February I found out about a huge change coming. I thought about it, prepared myself, took deep breaths, etc. And now--the job change has yet to happen. I was supposed to be done with my PhD LAST year. Still not done.
The changes aren't happening. Oh they will, but the suspense is killing me! Honestly. For real (as Jake says). I can't sleep, I'm cranky, I'm frustrated. Anticipation can be a good thing, but in this case it's just making me mad. And when I'm mad, I don't write because I'm mad. A huge circle of illogic that keeps going and going... until I am frankly dizzy and feeling nauseous.
The future generally looks bright and happy to me. Except right now. It's an impenatreble black cloud at the moment, all avenues are hidden and all look bad. Bleah. Go away black cloud of despair! Go away dense fog of sleepiness and exhaustion! Come back shiny happy Lydia that I was not long ago!
Damn, but life gets in the way.
In February I found out about a huge change coming. I thought about it, prepared myself, took deep breaths, etc. And now--the job change has yet to happen. I was supposed to be done with my PhD LAST year. Still not done.
The changes aren't happening. Oh they will, but the suspense is killing me! Honestly. For real (as Jake says). I can't sleep, I'm cranky, I'm frustrated. Anticipation can be a good thing, but in this case it's just making me mad. And when I'm mad, I don't write because I'm mad. A huge circle of illogic that keeps going and going... until I am frankly dizzy and feeling nauseous.
The future generally looks bright and happy to me. Except right now. It's an impenatreble black cloud at the moment, all avenues are hidden and all look bad. Bleah. Go away black cloud of despair! Go away dense fog of sleepiness and exhaustion! Come back shiny happy Lydia that I was not long ago!
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