Sunday, May 3, 2009


I like to write. I started a blog because I enjoy putting my thoughts down in some more durable location than... my head. So why aren't I writing more?

Damn, but life gets in the way.

In February I found out about a huge change coming. I thought about it, prepared myself, took deep breaths, etc. And now--the job change has yet to happen. I was supposed to be done with my PhD LAST year. Still not done.

The changes aren't happening. Oh they will, but the suspense is killing me! Honestly. For real (as Jake says). I can't sleep, I'm cranky, I'm frustrated. Anticipation can be a good thing, but in this case it's just making me mad. And when I'm mad, I don't write because I'm mad. A huge circle of illogic that keeps going and going... until I am frankly dizzy and feeling nauseous.

The future generally looks bright and happy to me. Except right now. It's an impenatreble black cloud at the moment, all avenues are hidden and all look bad. Bleah. Go away black cloud of despair! Go away dense fog of sleepiness and exhaustion! Come back shiny happy Lydia that I was not long ago!

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