Stages and Changes

Saturday, October 25, 2008

My darling daughter is 6 months old. And like a signal that rang through my body, the milk has stopped. I was tired of pumping, true, but somehow the end of nursing is bittersweet, My body, which provided her with life and sustenance for 9 months of gestation and 6 months of life, is moving on.
I'll still provide the love, the comfort and the caring she needs to grow into a beautiful human being. But I won't provide the food. The substance that made her grow and develop, that gave her such a pretty smile and a cheerful personality.
She doesn't know it yet, though. She still thinks I can provide this service. And I will still hold her to me as the last of the milk slowly stops flowing. She'll try to eat, but will learn that her bottle is now that source of food.
I say good bye to the pump that served me so well, through 2 children and a year (combined) of providing my children with the best food possible. I won't miss it, but I will miss what it gave me. That physical connection to my babies, that knowledge that even though I was not with them, they still had part of me inside them.
Now, there are new challenges ahead. My beautiful baby can sit by herself now! She doesn't need the stuff of my being to feed her. The milk may be gone, but the piece of my soul that she possesses is with her always.